The Sanctified Side-eye
For the melanated, intellectual baddies who love God, think deeply, and still have questions…a lot of them.
Sanctified Side-Eye is where theology meets real life—with a little humor, a raised eyebrow, and just enough conviction to make you pause mid-scroll like:“…wait. Why did that hit like that?”This isn’t surface-level devotionals or perfectly packaged inspiration.This is:wrestling with scripture ✔️noticing patterns ✔️calling things out (lovingly…mostly) ✔️and learning how to actually live this thing out without losing yourself in the process ✔️Some posts will encourage you.Some will gently correct you.Some will have you sitting there like:“okay God, I hear you…” 🤨💅🏾But all of it?Real. Thoughtful. And rooted.Because you can love God deeply, think critically, and still be figuring it out as you go.And if you need a little clarity…with a little attitude?You’re in the right place.
May 2026
Finding Your Authentic Self: A Journey of Spirit and Mind (Reframed)
In a world that constantly tells us who to be, discovering our authentic self is both an act of defiance and an act of grace. But I’ve learned something I didn’t understand before: authenticity is not something we find quickly, and it’s not something we can force. It is something we grow into—often after realizing how much of who we’ve been was shaped by survival, expectation, or the desire to be accepted.It’s not about constructing an identity, but uncovering what was always there—who God created us to be. And sometimes, that uncovering is uncomfortable. Because it requires us to admit that parts of who we’ve presented to the world were never fully us.Scripture tells us to “be transformed by the renewing of our mind” (Romans 12:2), but that renewal is not surface-level. It requires honesty. Real honesty. The kind that asks:Who am I when I’m not trying to keep the peace?
Who am I when I’m not performing, producing, or proving?
Who am I when I stop shrinking to fit what others expect?The answer is not found in striving harder to “be authentic,” but in surrendering the versions of ourselves we built to survive.Authenticity is not about following every impulse or rejecting structure—it’s about alignment. And I’ve learned that alignment comes with cost. It may disrupt relationships. It may challenge roles you’ve carried for years. It may even require you to see yourself differently than you once did, but it also brings clarity.When Jesus said, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32), He was speaking of more than doctrine. He was speaking of the kind of truth that exposes, corrects, and then liberates. The kind of truth that says:“This is who you are—and this is who you are not.”That journey requires both faith and self-examination. It means unlearning narratives that once felt necessary. It means recognizing that some of what we called “identity” was actually adaptation. For many of us, the process of becoming authentic feels like loss. Like pruning.And it is.In John 15, Jesus reminds us that pruning is necessary for growth—but pruning doesn’t just remove what is bad. It removes what is unnecessary, what is overgrown, what is no longer aligned.Sometimes we hold onto roles, relationships, and mindsets because they worked for us at one point. They helped us function. They helped us belong. But they are not who we are. They were what we needed to get through.The intellectual work of self-discovery—reflecting, reading, questioning—is important. But I’ve learned it’s not enough on its own. Because you can think your way into understanding and still feel disconnected.There has to be listening.Listening to God.
Listening to your own internal signals.
Listening to the discomfort that says, “something here is not aligned.”God is not trying to turn us into someone new. He is calling us back to who we were before we learned to perform.So if you find yourself in a season of searching, don’t rush it. Don’t try to “arrive” at authenticity as if it’s a destination.You are not lost.
But you may be shedding.
And that process can feel disorienting—but it is also sacred.Becoming your authentic self is not about creating something new. It is about returning—with more awareness, more honesty, and more courage than before.And in that return, there is not just peace—There is clarity, boundaries, and freedom.
Jan 2025
Transformed: Renewing Your Mind
Scripture: Romans 12:2 - "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."
Reflection: Sis, let's be real. We've got a lot on our plates. Being a Black woman in today's world often means juggling multiple roles – wife, mother, entrepreneur, student, friend, community leader – all while facing unique pressures and expectations. It's easy to feel overwhelmed, like we're constantly running on a treadmill, trying to keep up with the demands of life. You see that dream of building your business? That desire to go back to school and expand your knowledge? Those are beautiful aspirations, and they come from a place of strength and ambition that we are blessed with. But in the midst of the hustle, it's crucial to pause and remember Romans 12:2. This verse reminds us that true transformation doesn't come from conforming to the world's standards of success or busyness. It comes from renewing our minds, aligning our priorities with God's will. It's about seeking His guidance and wisdom as we navigate the complexities of our lives.
Practical Steps:* Prayer and Meditation: Spend time in prayer and meditation, seeking God's direction for your life. Ask Him to reveal His priorities for you and to give you the strength and wisdom to follow His path.* Discern and Prioritize: Take an honest look at your commitments. Are there any that are draining your energy and not aligned with God's purpose for you? Learn to say "no" to things that distract you from your true priorities.* Seek Support: Don't try to do it all alone. Lean on your faith community, your family, and your friends. Seek out mentorship from other Black women who have successfully navigated similar challenges. Seek professional guidance and counseling. (This helped me tremendously on understanding and combating my struggles with depression).* Self-Care: Remember that you can't pour from an empty cup. Prioritize self-care – physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Make time for rest, relaxation, and activities that bring you joy and rejuvenation. Self care isn’t selfish. It’s a necessity in order to live everyday to your God given potential and power.Affirmation: I am a Black woman created in God's image, strong, resilient, and capable. I trust in God's guidance and wisdom as I navigate my priorities. I choose to renew my mind and align my life with His perfect will. I am blessed, I am loved, and I am enough.Remember: You are not alone in this journey. God is with you every step of the way. Lean on Him, trust in His plan, and allow Him to transform your mind and your life.
December 2024
Peace or Avoidance?
“And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.” — Colossians 3:15The False Comfort of Peace
Sometimes we confuse silence, numbness, or temporary relief with peace. Avoidance can feel like rest, but it quickly reveals itself as unrest: anxiety, guilt, and the constant need to justify our decision. Avoidance whispers, “If you don’t face it, it won’t cost you anything.” But in truth, it costs us everything—peace, confidence, and forward motion in God’s plan.The Discomfort of Obedience
Obedience doesn’t always feel peaceful at first. It stretches us. It pushes us into places we’d rather skip. But unlike avoidance, obedience produces lasting fruit: growth, favor, and stability. That’s why Scripture says “obedience is better than sacrifice” (1 Samuel 15:22). Sacrifice can look holy but still be performative. Obedience aligns us with God’s will, even when it’s inconvenient.
The Test of Fruit
Jesus taught, “By their fruit you will know them” (Matthew 7:16). The same principle applies here:
• Does this decision bear anxiety, disruption, or chaos? That’s avoidance.
• Does it bear discomfort that leads to peace and confidence in God? That’s obedience.
The fruit doesn’t lie.
When you feel torn, ask:
• Am I running from something hard, or walking toward something holy?
• Is my “peace” really just relief from responsibility?
• Does this path leave me empty, or does it leave me steadier in Him?Prayer
Father, help me discern between peace and avoidance. Teach me not to confuse temporary relief with Your lasting presence. Give me the courage to obey, even when it feels uncomfortable, knowing that obedience brings peace that surpasses understanding. Anchor me in Your will, and let my choices bear the fruit of Your Spirit. In Jesus’ name, amen.✨ Obedience may stretch you, but avoidance will starve you. Choose the path that leads to lasting peace.
October 2025
Free Will: The Gift God Won’t Force You To Use
One of the most powerful yet misunderstood aspects of our relationship with God is free will. It’s a concept we often hear about but don’t always take time to truly grasp. Free will is a divine gift—one that God, in all His sovereignty, refuses to take away from us.God Doesn’t Force Us—So Why Should We?
From the very beginning, God designed us with the ability to choose. In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve weren’t programmed to obey—they had the freedom to listen or reject God’s instructions. That same free will exists today.
God doesn’t make us love Him.
He doesn’t make us do right.
He doesn’t even make us accept salvation.
Instead, He presents us with truth, guidance, and grace—but the decision is always ours.
This is a powerful reminder for how we should approach others. If God, the Creator of the universe, chooses not to force His will upon people, why do we waste so much energy trying to force others to think, believe, or act a certain way.
Too often, we exhaust ourselves trying to convince, control, or correct people who simply aren’t ready. But forcing people into change—whether it’s faith, personal growth, or even simple life advice—isn’t just draining, it’s pointless.
Instead, God calls us to be a light, not a leash.
• Speak truth, but don’t demand that people accept it.
• Share wisdom, but don’t grow bitter if it’s ignored.
• Love people, even when they reject what’s best for them.
We’re seed planters, not heart changers—only God can do that. And He works in His time, not ours.
While free will is a gift, it also comes with accountability. Choosing not to follow God doesn’t erase the consequences of that decision. Every choice we make—whether in faith, relationships, or personal integrity—has a ripple effect.
That’s why our own choices matter more than trying to control others. Instead of spending energy forcing, use it to become:
✔️ A person who leads by example.
✔️ Someone who loves without conditions.
✔️ A light that draws people in, rather than a force that pushes them away.At the end of the day, God’s approach is simple: He provides truth, offers grace, and allows choice. And that’s exactly how we should move through the world too.
Let go. Live well. Love people. The rest is between them and God.
About the Sacred Side-eye
Sacred Side Eye is a reflective devotional platform exploring faith, identity, and personal growth through both spiritual and intellectual inquiry. It creates space for honest engagement with Scripture, lived experience, and the process of becoming—offering thoughtful content for those seeking clarity, alignment, and deeper understanding.This platform serves as an extension of Eden & Ink Independent Bookstore LLC, expanding its mission beyond curated literature into written reflections that encourage readers to slow down, think critically, and reconnect with their authentic selves. Together, Sacred Side Eye and Eden & Ink function as complementary spaces for learning, restoration, and meaningful engagement with both faith and self.